this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
