Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
