hell yes lets make some ravioli
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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