He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
