this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
