maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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