You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Acid is not a monday night drug
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
