it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
