I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Randomize
