I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
