I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
