her vagine was all disorganized.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
