K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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