I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
