Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I am available for nakedness
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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