How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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