sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
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I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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