Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
