the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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