question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
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