I need help removing her.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Just pee around me
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Randomize
