I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
