dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Randomize
