her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
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