Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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