unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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