I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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