im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize