i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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