**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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