Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
