there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
