I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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