You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
