Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
