it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
