I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
