Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
