Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
