Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
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