I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Randomize
