I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
