she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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