i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize
