sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
