wat bout pragnant strippers??
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
