Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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