Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
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