so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize