my sisters under your porch take her home
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
