so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
