he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
This baby is an asshole
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
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