foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
