If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
3pm strippers are depressing
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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