I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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