Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
