and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
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