so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
